Baseball is a Funny Game
I have had over the years many favorite comedians. Red Skelton, Robin Williams, Richard Prior, George Carlin, just to name a few. But there have been some people connected to baseball who I found to be very funny also. Probably the first I remember was Joe Garagiola. As most of us know, Joe played for the Cardinals and Pirates. He was a decent catcher, but not as good as his
I have had over the years many favorite comedians. Red Skelton, Robin Williams, Richard Prior, George Carlin, just to name a few. But there have been some people connected to baseball who I found to be very funny also.
Probably the first I remember was Joe Garagiola. As most of us know, Joe played for the Cardinals and Pirates. He was a decent catcher, but not as good as his neighbor, Yogi Berra.
Joe first came to my attention when he was broadcasting baseball. He was a great story teller, and had so many great stories of his playing days. One he told was about what goes on when there is a meeting on the mound. Lefty Gomez, the Yankee great, was in a bases loaded fix, Frank Crosetti, the Yanks SS, came over and said C’mon Lefty, bear down, the bases are loaded. Gomez replied, I know they’re loaded. Did ya think I thought they gave me an extra infield?
Stuff like that is classic, and something most fans never hear about. Another time, Jocko Conlan was behind the plate. Danny Murtaugh, who was the hitter, worked the count to 3-2. The next pitch was about eye level and Conlan called it a strike.
Murtaugh barks at Conlon a little and gets the old heave ho. So Danny stops and says to Conlon, Jocko. just look around the infield. Musial, a Pole, at first base, Schoendienst, a Dutchman, at second base, Marion, I don’t even know what he is, and Kurowski, another Pole at third, Pollet, a Frenchman pitching, and look behind the plate, Garagiola, a spaghetti bender. There are only two Irishmen on this field, and you want to throw half of us out! Conlon let him stay in the game.
Garagiola was also good at self-depreciation. “Each year I do not play, I get better. The first year on the banquet trail, I was a former ballplayer. The second year, I was great, the third year one of baseball’s stars, and just last year, I was introduced as one of baseball’s immortals. The older I get, the more I realize that the worst break I had was playing.”
Yogi was also one of the funnier men in the game. His malaprops are classic. But he was also a great hitter, and he is in the Hall for good reason. If I remember right, he is still the record holder for the most World Series appearances.
Some of his best, ” no one goes there anymore, it is too crowded, ninety percent of this game is half mental. Little league is a good thing, it keeps the parents off of the street. third ain’t so bad if nothing is hit at you”, Think? how the hell are you going to think and hit at the same time?
Yep, Yogi was a classic. So was Casey Stengel. Casey once said to Mickey Mantle, ” sure I played, did you think I was born at age 70 sitting in a dugout and trying to manage guys like you? ” And one of my personal favorites, after the Mets had won the 69 series, ” they came up slow, but fast.”
Casey once doffed his cap and a bird flew out. He repeated that scene many years later when he was managing. Casey lived out in Glendale. One of the many people in baseball I wish I could have talked to.
And then there was Uecker. If there are funnier people who make as much fun of themselves as Uecker, I have never seen them. When he was released from the Braves, he said they broke it to him gently. ” the manager came up to me and said, we do not allow visitors in the clubhouse”…Pretty gentle.
I also loved his comment, ” the best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling, and then pick it up. Bob did commercials, and even a TV series called, ” Mr. Belvedere.
And who could ever forget his turn as Harry Doyle in the Major League movies. ” Just a bit outside” Haywood leads the league in nose hairs” and my favorite, ” he’ll need a rocket up his ass to catch that one, that baby’s outa here.”
Yes, Uecker is a national treasure. He still does Brewer games. Uecker is in the Hall, elected when he received the Ford Frick award. In fact Ueck, Yogi and Joe are all in the hall. And deservedly so.
But there were guys who were not talented players, but made a living performing their routines before so many thousands of fans at ball parks all around the country.
Max Patkin, who was in the movie, Bull Durham, was known as the Clown Prince of baseball. Max hurt his arm and that curtailed his pro career, so he joined the Navy during WWII.
He was pitching in Hawaii in a service game, and he gave up a homer to Joe DiMaggio, in mock anger, Patkin threw down his glove and followed Joe D around the bases. The crowd loved it, and a career was born.
He was hired as a coach for the Indians by Bill Veeck. When Veeck sold the Indians, Patkin began barnstorming all across the US and Canada in minor league parks. He could easily make many shapes with his face, which some thought was made of rubber.
He was tall and skinny, and always wore a baggy uniform with a question mark on the back instead of a number, and his cap was always askew. Patkin estimated he made more than 4000 appearances. On July 20, 1969 he played to a crowd of 4 in Great Falls Montana. Most of the fans were home watching Apollo 11’s moon landing. Between 1944, and 1993, he never missed an appearance.
Al Schacht was another. Schacht actually made it to the majors as a pitcher, but he hurt his arm, and his career was over. He had an uncanny ability to mimic other players. He would wear a battered top hat and tails. Sometimes he would wield a catcher’s mitt that weighed 25 pounds, so big you could fit a full meal in it. He once ate a meal off of home plate.
Schacht was the first Clown Prince of Baseball. He once said, I came into this world very homely, and I haven’t changed a bit since. He was born in Nov of 1892 on the site where Yankee Stadium would eventually stand.
Some of the best quotes from ball players, ” I never threw an illegal pitch, trouble is once in a while I toss one that ain’t never been seen by this generation…Satchel Paige….” the way to make coaches think you are in shape in the spring is to get a tan….Whitey Ford… I never took the game home with me, I always left it in some bar…Bob Lemon.
And former president Gerald Ford had this one, ” I always watch baseball on the radio”. Dick Allen, ” If a horse won’t eat it, I ain’t playing on it. George Will contributed this beauty, “All I remember about my wedding day is that the Cubs lost a double header.”
Charlie Lau, a pretty good hitting coach once opined,” There are two theories on hitting a knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither one of them works”. Actor Humphrey Bogart even had one. ” A hot dog at the game beats a roast beef at the Ritz.”
Another from the indomitable Yogi, “Slump, I ain’t in no slump….I just ain’t hitting”. ” A man once told me I should walk with the Lord; I would rather walk with the bases loaded”…Ken Singleton.
Steve Garvey, who was not really a funny guy had this one ” Lasorda’s standard reply when some new kid would ask directions to the whirlpool was to tell him to stick his foot in a toilet and flush it”. Pure Tommy. Yogi again” So I’m ugly, So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.”
And our own favorite, Pedro Guererro who once said before every pitch he would pray they didn’t hit the ball to him, and then ask the same for Steve Sax.
Another favorite came from George Will. ” Baseball it is said, is only a game. True, and the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.” Just a few of the classics. Humor is one of the things that keeps most of us sane.
Jay Johnstone was another character. Jay was famous for his pranks pulled on teammates, and for tormenting Lasorda. He had a #2 Jersey that read Lasagna. He would pretend to make a pitching change and walk out to the mound holding a can of Slim Fast and Tommy’s book.
He locked Lasorda in his room during spring training by tying a rope to a tree outside of Tommy’s door, and removing the speaker from his phone so that no one could hear him. He also stuck a soggy brownie in Steve Garvey’s glove. And he was the master of the hot foot. He also one time took down all of Lasorda’s photos of celebrities that were in his office, and replaced them with pictures of himself, Don Stanhouse, and Jerry Ruess. He did like to keep things loose in the clubhouse, hence his nickname, Moon Man.
I love these kinds of quotes and players. They make the game a lot more fun to watch. Babe Herman once tripled into a double play. Kike and his banana suit. Watching players have fun, makes the game fun.
A few years ago, the Dodgers had a bubble machine in the dugout, which they would activate when a player hit a homer. MLB told them to get it out of the dugout, but you still saw bubbles after every homer at Dodger Stadium the rest of that season.
Some of us remember Jimmy Piersall well. Jimmy had some well documented mental problems. But he was a very talented ball player. His problems had been portrayed in the movie, “Fear Strikes Out” Based on the book of the same name.
In 1963, Piersall was playing for the Mets, and was a teammate of Duke Snider. Duke hit his 400th homer on June 14, 1963. My 15th birthday. Piersall told Snider that he was going to get more ink when he hit his 100th than Snider got for # 400. Sure enough, a few weeks later Piersall hit # 100. And ran around the bases backwards.
Photos of that still exist. Those are the moments that make this game so great. You do not have to be a superstar to be entertaining. I remember Super Dave Osborne trying a stunt where he was going to stand in front of the plate and take a Dwight Gooden fastball to his cup. I am sure He really regretted that decision.
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Discussion (81)
Disagree, not disagreeable
Well the magic number is still 2 to end with the best record in baseball.
Hendrick’s 97 looks way more unhittable than Treinen’s 97
That at bat was really important by Rios.
Because if JT’s hamstring is going to be an ongoing issue, Rios WILL have to start at 3b. We need to know he can hit lefties.
Rios is looking good for that last spot in the starting lineup in the playoffs.
Don’t look now but lefty lumber waking up! Just in time!
I don’t know why Doc wastes at bats on Hernandez. If he starts Hernandez in the playoffs he deserves a #FireDoc.
Julio with command and his change up working against righties can be ace like! He’s sooo close! Just in time!
This home plate umpire is horrendous
Has anyone thought of using only our starters in the 3 game series.
Game 1 Kershaw followed by 1 of our other starters not named Buehler.
Game 2 Buehler followed by 1 of our starters not used in game 1.
Game 3 if necessary the starter not used in games 1 and 2 followed by the 2nd starter in game 1.
Just a thought.
As I write this a Muncy bomb I hope he’s back.
Really like the concept of Urias with an opener.
Good to have Kelly back, even with today’s trash.
I have NEVER liked Kelly. When I wrote a somewhat long post a week or so ago about the bullpen I said in the playoffs I hope Doc stays away from using Kelly or our playoff hopes can be eliminated quickly.
QUESTION1!!!
What happens in determining the wild=card teams if a team has been unable to complete is complete 60 game schedule???
You going to trust Johnny Allstaff in game 3? They have no other real confirmed good starter. I go for having an ace to fall back on. They had to pitch Darvish in game 7 of the World Series because they did not want to use Kersh on short rest. Bad choice.
Thanks for the update Jeff. That clears up my Urias question.
Here was my semi-pro tentative pitching schedule to get ready for Wed. That I did a couple days ago. I wanted to compare to what actually happens.
Tuesday – May (got that one but cheated)
Wed – Urias – (will be bulk guy now)
Thursday – Bullpen game working situational match ups. Gonsolin an inning or 2 and again Sunday.
Friday – CK
Saturday – Buehler
Sunday – May / Gonsolin
2 days off
Wed – CK on 4 days rest
Thursday – Buehler on 4 days rest
Friday – Urias/May/Gonsulin all rested
We’ll see how it plays out
I did hear Orel speculate on a Johnny Wholestaff for game 1 of the playoffs. Dumbest statement all year to me.
Pre-Game Pressers:
Jake McGee attributes some of his success with the utilization of CleanFuego, a ball with a different weight distribution that helps with the hand placement on the ball. Connor McGuiness showed him the tool, and he plays catch with it every day. You can read up on CleanFuego at cleanfuego.com.
Jake said it was pretty cool to get the last three outs for the team to win the Division.
Doc said that Joe Kelly will start in place of Julio Urias. Joe will go one inning (or 3-4 batters). Joe will get two more opportunities to pitch this weekend against LAAA. Julio will be the bulk pitcher tonight, but Doc wants him to get the feel of coming into the game in relief. Tony Gonsolin and Dustin May could also come into a bulk relief role this weekend on their scheduled start dates. No decision has been made just yet. The third SP has not been decided.
JT will go about 5-6 innings tonight at 3B and Edwin Rios will then come in for him.
Doc fully expects Max to peak at the right time.
I’m reading this about last night’s game, ” After his home run, Seager told someone “fuck you, you didn’t give me a high five last time” as he was going into the dugout. And some think that he said that to Muncy in a joking tone, but he was in the waiting circle, so those words were for someone else. You can see the video on twitter
Mike Clevinger Exits Start With Apparent Injury (Perfect, all these stupid clowns)
Padres right-hander Mike Clevinger threw a 1-2-3 first inning with two strikeouts against the Angels on Wednesday, but he departed after that for an undisclosed reason. The Padres were not planning on pulling Clevinger that soon in the game
It’s worth noting that Clevinger had his previous start last Saturday pushed back because of bicep tightness, so this situation could be especially alarming news for the playoff-bound Padres. San Diego sent a haul to Cleveland for Clevinger at the Aug. 31 trade deadline, and the 29-year-old has since been highly effective over three starts. As a member of the Padres, Clevinger owns a 3.00 ERA with 17 strikeouts and three walks across 18 innings.
Based on what he has done as a Padre (not to mention his performance with the Indians over the past couple seasons), Clevinger could be a major difference maker in the playoffs for San Diego. The Padres do boast two other front-end starters in Dinelson Lamet and Zach Davies, while Chris Paddack and Garrett Richards offer another pair of proven options, but they won’t be at their best if they have to enter the postseason without Clevinger.
Funny stuff today Bear. I have a couple of favorites to add:
The best scene in Major League to me was subtle but just cracked me up. Uecker, as Harry Doyle, is broadcasting the Indians game one. Just after the introductions you can see him in the booth pouring up a big tumble of Jack Daniels. Before a pitch had been thrown, he was hitting the sauce.
I also love Tim McCarver’s story about a mound visit the skipper signaled him to make with Gibson on the hill. McCarver didn’t want to go and hadn’t had to much ever as Gibson was a notorious finisher. Anyway, McCarver was sent out to buy some time. When he was nearly to the mound, Gibson turned and noticed Tim. Without any expression, Gibson said “what are you doing here”? Tim said nothing. Gibson than told Tim “hey, all you know about pitching is you can’t hit it. So get your ass back behind the plate”. Tim never said a word and the visit was over. Tim said he never went out again.
I was in the minors when Max Patkin, The Clown Prince, did his performance 2 separate years. He just took over our clubhouse and bossed everybody around. He was really unfunny when not being the Clown. He was also one of the vulgar man I ever ran across and I’ve heard the best. He couldn’t put 5 words together without an “F” bomb. Maybe I just caught him on 2 bad nights.
Here are a few more classics. It ain’t nothing til I call it. Bill Klem.. ” who is this Baby Ruth, and what does she do? ” George Bernard Shaw, ” If you get three strikes there isn’t a lawyer in the world who can get you off” Bill Veeck, “Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw, he always pitches when the other team does not score any runs” Tim McCarver, “The other teams could make trouble for us if they win” Yogi, Beethoven can’t be great because his picture ain’t on a bubblegum card”, Charles Schultz, “Trying to sneak a fastball past Aaron is like trying to sneak a sunrise past a rooster”, Joe Adcock, ” Well it took me 17 years in the majors to get 3,000 hits, and I did it in one afternoon on the golf course”, Hank Aaron”, ? We know we are better than this, but we can’t prove it”, Tony Gwynn. This ain’t like football, there aren’t any trick plays” Yogi, ” He looks like a greyhound, but he runs like a bus”. George Brett, ” Why does everyone stand and sing “Take me out to the ball game when they are already there? ” Larry Anderson, And finally this gem from Duke Snider, ” You know you are pitching well when the batters look as bad as you do at the plate” One more….today I walked into the clubhouse and there were 4 doctors, 3 therapists, and 3 trainers. When I broke in we had we had one trainer who carried a bottle of alcohol and by the 7th he had drank it. Lasorda
Tonight lineup
RF Betts
SS Seager
3B Turner
1B Muncy
C Smith
DH Pollock
CF Bellinger
LF Taylor
2B Hernandez
SP Kelly
This is my prediction for the playoff roster, barring any more injuries.
Smith, Muncy, Taylor, JT, Seager, Pollock, Cody, Mookie and Joc
Bench – Barnes, Hernandez, Rios, Lux and Beaty
Pitchers – Kershaw, Buehler, Gonsolin, May and Urias
Jansen, McGee, Treinen, Kelly, Baez
Floro, Gonzalez, Kolarek and Wood
14 each.
Fun article, Bear! Who are the funniest players in today’s game, do you think? I got the feeling that Rich Hill was one.
There must be a lot that goes on in the clubhouse that we don’t hear about. Baseball seems more santized now than it was back then.
A few observations from yesterday’s game. What really impressed me about May is that he didn’t seem fazed, even though he didn’t have his best stuff. Even giving up the HR to the second batter he faced, or throwing a wild pitch to let in a run, didn’t seem to get to him. That’s impressive in a 22 year old. Next, Muncy seemed so relieved to hit that HR. The way that Doc was kidding around with him in the dugout afterwards, it was obvious just how messed up Muncy’s head is right now. I don’t think they’ll leave him off the roster. He could break out at any time. If he’s any semblance of his normal self, he’s too valuable to leave off the team. Finally, in the ridiculous 3 game wild card format, the team I fear is the Reds. We saw last year how a team with great pitching, Washington, could dominate a short playoff series. We’re playing well now, but anything can happen in a short series.
Here is a very interesting article from Dodger Insider about bullpen usage and the Dodger bullpen in particular.
Open on dodgers.mlblogs.comhttps://dodgers.mlblogs.com/mlb-bullpens-are-working-more-and-the-dodger-bullpen-is-working-better-f66d911410ccSo Bear, I’m predicting 12 position players for post season for sure:
Beaty, Kike, CT3 (at 2nd), Rios, JT, Seager, Muncy, Belli, Betts, Pollock, Barnes and Smith = 12
15 pitchers with Wood
So that leaves 1 spot if Wood stays.
And that would be Joc.
If Wood goes, which I think is unlikely, than 1 other spot opens for Lux, McKinstry or K-Bear.
Let me know if I missed somebody.
A couple of things. The picture at the beginning of the article is Nick Altrock. He also performed as a baseball clown, although not as prominently as Schacht or Patkin. Joc’s availability may depend on his family situation, and if he is not on the roster, my guess is that Matt Beaty will be. As for Lux, I think the consensus right now is that Taylor will be the regular 2nd baseman in the playoffs, and Gavin will not be on the roster. Turner suffered hamstring tightness yesterday, and was removed from the lineup for precautionary measures. On a sad note, NFL Hall of Famer, Gayle Sayers passed away today at the age of 77.